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If you can see it, you can develop the courage to become it.

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Today, it’s a pleasure to introduce Anjali Nihalchand, a wise woman, fierce founder, and daring desi. I asked her a few questions, and she had so much to share!

 

You have such a rich history of contribution and achievement—what inspires your ambition?

That is a very kind thing to say. The drivers for my ambition evolved across the different decades of my life. In my 20s, it was about financial security (especially as my father passed away and our mother was dependent on us), career development, learning, and growing professionally.

In my 30s, I became even more determined for financial empowerment and independence, aiming to save to buy my home. I also started feeling a strong desire for fulfilment in three areas. First, I needed more than a ‘job’—I needed a vocation that could help me cultivate more meaning and intrinsic purpose. The second was a drive to ‘give back’, which came when I serendipitously crossed paths with the Zubin Foundation. I offered my time, care, and expertise in varying capacities to help empower the marginalised South Asian community in Hong Kong. The third aspect was a longing for spiritual growth, which I found through meditation, therapy, yoga, reflection, and intention-setting.

In my 40s, it has been about persevering as an entrepreneur, which I have done through several businesses I have co-founded and partnered up with, from brand work to digital amplification, NGO work, and our growing counselling practice. It has been about using all my learnings, skills, and best practices from my 25-year career and applying them wisely. On a personal front, the freedom to manage my own time and schedule has been incredibly important. My ambition to empower young South Asian women and ‘give back’ has amplified, hence Pollination Coaching and just launched Daring Desis.

Daring Desis was born out of the desire to make the pioneers, bold, and achieving Desi women visible to our community, especially to the families of young South Asian women who have or may migrate abroad.

Aside from community, what is your favourite way to maintain cultural connection?

Travel. Food. Music. Arts.

I often travel for cultural connection; we in fact just came back from Kerala. As much as possible, we attend art and musical performances by various organisations, such as the Melbourne Hindustani Classical Music Society and others offering authentic South Asian and other cultural performances. We have just been to see several local and international South Asian comedians, which has been fantastic. More recently, we went to see Counting and Cracking, an absolutely brilliant and tender Sri Lankan play about love, family, politics, and reconciling with the past.

What gave you the courage to be a ‘Daring Desi?’

I have gotten to know myself more authentically through deep meditation, yoga, therapy, and an ongoing spiritual practice. That has given me the courage to trust myself. I also find so much inspiration among my diverse friendships and ‘mentors’—people I know and don’t know. This is also the reason behind Daring Desis and why I want to make it a book. If you can see it, you can develop the courage to become it. Lastly, I will say my partner is more than an ally; he actively encourages, supports, and gives me space to be everything I wish to be and do anything important to me.

Anjali also told me how inspiring the stories of other women have been—we need to know more of their names and narratives—of past, present, and emerging Daring Desis! Did you know that the first woman who graduated from Oxford Law was a South Asian woman? Her name is Cornelia Sorabji!

What is one piece of advice you’d give your younger self?

I would have encouraged my younger self to read and to absorb myself fully in books. Living in France at 19, Anjali was dating someone whose mother owned a bookstore. She connected with the mother, a voracious reader and curious person, who noticed Anjali didn’t seem too connected to her Indian culture. She suggested books that inspired her love for reading and eventually shared South Asian stories. They’re still connected all these years later. This reading journey has helped Anjali connect to her Indian culture and herself.

Anjali also shared that she visited a bibliotherapist! If you also didn’t know what a bibliotherapist is, they “employ books and other forms of literature to support a patient’s mental health.” Her visit connected her with who she was at that moment instead of who she used to be and reminded her of how much she loves to expand her mindset and cultural connection through reading. She’s just finished the incredible ‘Covenant of Water’ by Abraham Verghese. I asked her for some recommendations, and the top 3 for young women are 3 books: Chup (Deepa Narayan), 15 Suggestions (Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie), and Rebel Girls.

“We read to remember. We read to forget. We read to make ourselves, remake ourselves, and save ourselves. I read the way a person might swim, to save his or her life.” Mary Oliver

Also, just be you. Everyone else is taken 🙂

With the world globalising and becoming more connected, what is one piece of Desi culture you think we should all share more?

I am a 3rd culture person—a Sindhi Indian who grew up in Hong Kong and was educated in the US and France. For me, what has been most important is to develop my relationship with my culture through travel, books, art and music. I am now also learning to write and read Hindi. Through this active engagement, I feel so connected in such a profound way. I have grown to become so proud of my heritage. Sharing my love for what my heritage offers with others is super important to me. I try to balance all the identities and cultures I have been blessed to be part of and keep them closely connected.

Anjali shared a letter she wrote to her 16-year-old self with us, and there was a part I thought many of us might relate to and learn from.

“You will be described in many ways, aggressive, intense, opinionated, rigid, moody, emotional, hard, fussy with too high standards, a perfectionist, controlling, you will also be called wise, generous, enthusiastic, energetic, friendly, soft, pure, open, kind, smart, witty, fun, bold, brave, smiley, positive, resilient and you will be bits and pieces of all those things. They are your superpowers, and you will try to learn to use them when you need them and when they serve you. Sometimes it will all feel like too many things, personalities pulling you in different directions, begging for your attention and you will need to retreat into yourself, settle your mind, calm your energy, rest your body and be with yourself to reset and be quiet. Empty the cup, it’s just become too full. In the end, you will be unashamedly you – the good, the bad and the ugly. You will own your truth.”

In our conversation, she asked: What rules am I breaking? Why am I being a rebel? I think ‘Daring’—daring to be the first, to break the glass ceiling, go against the grain, be the first few—is how we should think. Daring to persevere even if society and parents tell you differently, carrying on in the face of no, and caring about your people!

Find Anjali here:

@https://www.instagram.com/daring_desis/

Daring Desis are also looking for a volunteer social media editor to help edit a couple of Instagram posts a week. Reach out to Anjali at daringdesis@gmail.com if you have an hour or two each week to help!

16 Aug: How do we rise? By lifting others.

Meet Priya Ravindra Kalyanimath, whose journey to help women rise started at a young age when she saw how the world around her conflicted so fundamentally with the way she was raised.

Her loving, nurturing and inclusive upbringing has been the foundation for Priya’s advocacy work in gender diversity, inclusion and equal opportunity for women, as well as the inception of her impact driven company, Punar, that creates sustainable, ethically handcrafted corporate gifts. The name Punar, which means ‘Again’ in Sanskrit, seeks to honour the female artisans of Punar, many of whom are taking bold, brave steps to making a new, independent start in life, in spite of personal hardships and their socioeconomic background.

Priya is an accredited Company Director, GAICD – Graduate of Australian Institute of Company Directors, and runs a project management consultancy, which delivers projects for a Victorian based NFP client group.

Read on and be uplifted by Priya’s focus, commitment and passion for helping women rise.

16 Aug: If not me, then who? Manisha Massey discusses childhood trauma in South Asian Women

Manisha Massey is a PhD Clinical Psychology Candidate from New Delhi, currently residing in Adelaide. Her professional focus is mainly to understand how childhood trauma presents in the bodies and relationships of adult South Asian Women, with the aim of decolonising trauma therapy.

16 Aug: Empowering Minds, Bridging Cultures: The Story of Rupa Parthasarathy and Mindkshetra

Meet Rupa Parthasarathy, a social entrepreneur and founder of wellness studio Mindkshetra, who is breaking down barriers to holistic well-being and uplifting communities.

With grace and determination, Rupa navigates the intersection of both cultural barriers and traditions, mental health and creativity.

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